Day 38. Psalm 77:10

And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

Once when I was very depressed, my thoughts kept going out of my control. I felt as if my trust in our LORD is in vain and that He has abandoned me. And incidentally, I was reading Psalm 77 that  day and the verses 7-9 felt as if the anguish of my heart.

Will the Lord cast off forever? And will He be favorable no more? Has His mercy ceased forever? Has His promise failed forevermore? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has He in anger shut up His tender mercies? – Psalm 77:7-9

I felt very happy that there was someone who felt the same way I did. Okay, it took me many more years to realize that the pain the psalmist suffered was much greater than I had experienced during my teenage crisis . I lingered on these verses for sometime and then I moved to the next verse. And it was so difficult for me to accept that this is my infirmity; that I am feeling all these depressive thoughts because of my weaknesses. Isn’t this the truth, the voice of reason spoke softly in my heart. What you are facing is the reality, why can’t you accept that God has forgotten you, said the rational voice. It took sometime to humble myself and accept that it is my weakness; that the LORD is ever so faithful to His Word; that He never leaves me nor forsakes me. And the more I praised Him and thanked Him, the more I glorified Him, the more I felt His grace enveloping me and leading me.